DRC-HOF-0001-TWSpouse
The Great Thermostat War
The Complaint
“My spouse keeps changing the thermostat, then complains about the temperature.”
Official Verdict
Both parties are sentenced to 30 days of thermostat diplomacy.
Sustained
Featured Complaints
Landmark Cases of the Department
DRC-HOF-0002-MZPet
The Midnight Zoomies Incident
The Complaint
“My cat sprints across my face at 3 a.m., then stares at me like I am the problem.”
Official Verdict
The Defendant is ordered to nap during business hours. Evidence of remorse: none. Treats: mandatory.
Guilty (Fluffy)
DRC-HOF-0003-VYCoworker
The Case of the Vanishing Yogurt
The Complaint
“Someone ate my labeled yogurt from the office fridge. My name was on it. In capital letters.”
Official Verdict
The Defendant shall purchase a replacement yogurt and deliver a formal apology via interpretive dance.
Case Closed
DRC-HOF-0004-LBNeighbor
Leaf Blower at Dawn
The Complaint
“My neighbor operates a leaf blower at 6:45 a.m. on a Saturday, on a lawn with no leaves.”
Official Verdict
The Defendant is hereby restricted to a rake and a deep sense of shame until further notice.
Overruled
DRC-HOF-0005-HCFamily
The Holiday Casserole Accusation
The Complaint
“My uncle announced at dinner that my casserole is "interesting." He has been unavailable for clarification.”
Official Verdict
The Defendant must eat two full servings and say "delicious" without blinking.
Verdict Final
DRC-HOF-0006-SCEveryday Annoyance
The Self-Checkout Betrayal
The Complaint
“The machine said "unexpected item in the bagging area." The item was my bag. It expected it.”
Official Verdict
The Machine is ordered to apologize in a calm, robotic voice and to trust humans a little more.
Upheld
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